Emotions

One of my friend says that to achieve something one should not be emotional about it.It may be true , as it fetches early success.Its like press that OFF button of your heart and just focus on the job.It may work for many, but sorry to say that I am not like many. It surprisingly never works for me.If I like something or someone I knowingly or unknowingly become emotional about it.Its strange....Its difficult....but i cannot help...May be I should just follow my heart..May be I should just follow the rule:The thing always happens that you really believe in; and the belief in a thing makes it happen!!!

ALICE.....

Waiting...

I always hate waiting...waiting for anything may it be for bus,train,hospitals,some occurrence.But at this point of my life I am forced to wait for something of which the outcome is as clear as a misty winter morning of some hill station.Not sure what is ahead.This is something which have never happened before to me.Only thing that drives me is HOPE.Hope that I am honest to myself.Hope that I am not heading for some disaster.Because this time if I screw up...I screw up big time.I know like all other things destiny holds the key of all the questions.But even to know the answers, I need to make my moves.Moves which are not only difficult but also painful and unlike ME.All I need is a little bit of strength .(I am not even asking for any help).I know no one is reading this and thats how I want it to be.

Soul Mates

This creation of mine was inspired by someone who never believed in "Soul Mates"....I BELIEVE IN SOUL MATES....may be its my fantasy....may be its my dream that some day I will meet my soul mate....Whatever it is this painting is my attempt to make the source of inspiration to start believing in soul mates....because that "someone" is little bit more than "very special" to me.

Is there any meaning of all this....

Typical working day... send some mails to my colleagues..do that...do this...have u done it?..these are things I am not paid for..."Role based lead"... then my own work...server connectivity issues,Trio meetings,etc etc...Is there any meaning for all these? I do it well.From outside I may look like an expert.But I got no passion for this work I do.Absolutely no passion.Don't we hear often that we should do what we like to do? Then am I doing nothing? Am I the only one ? Does it really matter at all? I seriously get all negative answers for these questions.Something is wrong somewhere.I need to fix it.And I guess time is running short.And I am becoming increasingly weak.What is that I want to achieve ? I do not know it even now. That is a serious issue.I guess guys of my age know it. Haven't I done all the right things. Proved myself time and again.Then why am I not satisfied and contended

I need strength , I do not know where to get it from , but I have to grow up..I need to wake up.

Best Dreams

I believe every individual has a song of his or her own...A song which describes him or her...It feels like the singer has sung that song only for him or her..Its like a possession he or she has...Which can be appreciated time and again...which can be gifted to someone special...The other night I was on a mission to find my song..I searched in various websites , listened to some 30 odd songs from renowned as well as coming up artists .Finally I got this song.."Best Dreams" by Michael Rossback.The moment I heard it I knew this is the one...The one for me..

As kids we often think tht our lives will always be smooth...we will do well with our studies, job,we will find our love and everything will be happy....bed of roses...For a few it works out...things seems to fall in place always...They always have what they want...But I guess for many of "us" life is not a bed of roses...No way....We are like a leaf that falls on the stream...it gets hit by the rocks as the stream flows...sometimes the leaf get stuck with a larger rock...and then again the journey continues...Most of us lke that leaf...We get stuck and think that this is our world...and then something happens and we are asked to move on...and nothing stops..no one stops...

We have people around us giving advise, they tell us wat to do..what not to do..but the fact is that they never care much...because they have their own lives...and everyone has their own world..their own streams to flow with...but the silver lining is that...time will teach us all ..time heals everything.. and we always get along...time tells who we actually are...Whom we actually belong to..where we actually destined to be...

I am not so good with writing as I am with expressing things..This song tells very clearly everything...

http://www.ourstage.com/profile/michaelrossback
Song: Best Dreams

Lyrics( I wrote it down myself....few words may be missing..but then its fine:-) )

The world won't stop for u
Give you your space.
it just rools away ..to leave u with yesterday
girls are out for u but you know they are fake..
beacause u r just a name
you have given your heart in them.

chorus

{
but times find a way to show who u are
and u will come along and seeing your heart sing
dream ur best dreams
give love a way
live ur tommorrow today..... }

the crowd wont applaud u
make huss for u
n tell u , u r great
and spread all ur fame
because u r just a name
top will nevre do
its sad but true
at the end of the day they never stop......

chorus

count the star and breath some air
caress the lips that leave her there
when u love u someone ..more than anyone...

u live ur best dream
u find ur heart sing
give love away
live ur tom today.....

I do not like this.........

I never faced this way...Coming to work on Monday morning and feeling real dull.But things are real bad these days.I am asked to do activities which are monotonous and require no use of brain.Its like writing impositions in school.I used to hate doing it.(I mean every hates to do) But its the repeatability part which I hate .I am not definitely happy with my work.I do not know how long will I continue with this kind of work.I know I will reach a stage soon when I will say it quit.No matter what happens...Just leave it.Life on personal front was never very cool. Its worse now. Do not know what is right. What is wrong? I feel I am doing right.I feel its good for all.I feel it has a happy ending. But clapping never happens with one hand. At the moment I am the "one hand" trying to reach for the other hand, which seems to be quite far... I chose it nevertheless.I asked for it. And I am not going to give up.If time is the only problem. I will give it some time.But I am not going to give up fast. I am not going to let go this time.I want this badly...this badly. And someone told if you want something this bad , you will get it. Its matter of how much I want this to happen. It is a commitment for life.I know the dangers, I know the hurdles.The deadliest of all is to break my heart which got fixed very recently. But I chose this path.Strength to strength...trust to trust...

LIES..

This post ..unlike my other posts ...is a bit personal.... Its about lies.... I hate lies....simple ones are fine...they are to avert something bad or to make someone happy.... but some lies hurt you... sometimes I know some one is lying to me... he or she may be havin his or her own reason..(which I do respect) but why lie to me....I like people telling me on my face...I am strong enough to handle criticism in front of a crowd.... If I am wrong, I have the guts to accept it in front of all. So why not tell me!!!! Tell me ,Aneesh you are wrong( if at all I am), Tell me ,Aneesh ...I do not like you( If at all you do not)... Tell me , Aneesh get out of my life( if you do not want me)...I will fix my wrong doings...I will get out of your life and system..before you even know it...But tell me... DO NOT LIE TO ME!!!! and if at all you do...please be smart enough so that I do not catch you... Today someone lied to me..someone whom I have known for quite long time.... I cannot prove it... In fact I do not want to prove it.... To be more precise, I want to be proven wrong myself... Sometimes you want to be defeated..because at that moment...winning means losing someone..And I do not like losses.................... :-( :-( :-( :-(

When long time imagination turns REAL!!!!

How many of us imagined being on top of mount Everest, or left alone in a barren island, or driving a super fast car, or even spending a dark night in the woods,or may be dating someone special,dancing your heart out with high school crush.... wild imagination indeed...Very rarely does these (or even one of these) come true in one's life time... But it does happen...when one has a very strong feeling, a very strong desire, these things do happen to that person...it happens suddenly...and often catches by surprise... and that's when u live your dream...that's when u live in your imagination.... You find it hard to believe....you become confused...are you dreaming or its actually true..actually happening...its a very strange feeling....a feeling so soothing yet so scary....soothing because you are actually doing what you wanted to do...all these years...and scary because like all dreams its going end.... its a feeling of happiness and pain.... but even the pain is intoxicating....For you that is the moment....for you that is life and the end of it...you forget the past, you do not care for the future....all your agony,hardships,struggle are no longer relevant...Its the present..which is so pleasant... You want to make it large....Unforgettable it will be!! For once you are the hero...for once you are special....And this time its REAL!!!

rock climbing course-level 1

Social parties can be sometimes very helpful.It was one of those parties..birthday party of Chetna , some 3 years back where I met this person called Sunand. Instantly came to know that he is an adventure sports enthusiast.We kept in tough through mails.Those days he used to be associated with karnataka mountaineering association(KMA). later he founded his own organization (now a pvt. ltd. company) called IQuest. www.iquestindia.com When I got the mail from Iquest about a new programme on basic rock climbing, i could not stop but to enroll for it. I badly needed some platform to showcase my talent.Preparation started one month back.Iworked out on my reflexes,shoulder and back muscles.I also worked a bit on my fingers.I was eager for the day.

Day1: Bangalore hates to wake up early on saturdays.So do I.But I had to reach the pickup point at 7AM. The pick up point was kanteerva stadium.I was the first one to reach the place.Slowly a few more confused and sleepy faces joined me.Around 8AM our tempo traveller came.Sunand introduced us to all the team members and training staffs. It always good to meet people of similar likes and passion.Soon we reached Ramnagaram . We again had a formal round of introduction.Pranesh and gaurav were our instructors. WE started with some stretching exercieses.Gaurav showed us several stretching exercises which are also a great way to warm up our muscles.Then he and Pranesh told us some basics about rock climbing. (All these were sort of boring as I already heard them in my previous rock climbing classes) the came the best part ..actual bouldering....i changed to my climbing shoe (which was in real bad shape after several years of wear and tear on rocks ).My first bouldering was impressive.And soon I was climbing almost all the bouldersa around me.I should add "Bouldering " is like having a practice match before the actual match. There was one boulder..some 15 ft high and witha gradient of 75-80 degrees.It looked challenging. I was aked to try it out. I did an eye climbing( imagining the climb, moves and postures before u actually climb) I knew it would be tough.I tried it ...only to fall on the crash pad kept below to take our fall...The secoud try also resulted something simlilar...on my 3rd try i used my fingers to pull my upper body ... after the launch ..it was normal climbing and I reachged the top.I was really satisfied..and I knew i made a point...a good start...

After that, we all assembled form our resective boulders..its lunch time and the difference is that we need to make our own lunch...ration and fuel was distributed in 3 seperate teams... we struggled initially to light the portable stove called "MSR"..but finally we made something edible...

After that we were informed that we would spend the night on top the hill in tents...and before sunset we need to bring up all our supplies and pitch our tent... itching tent has always been a painful exercise for me..and this time was no differnet...first to finda stable land ..and then to fix the rods...finally after 15 minutes of traila nd error methods we made our self a shelter....I arranged the mats and brought in all our supplies .After all the teams had pitched their tents , we awere asked to ssemble for some theory classes on ways to live in wilderness.What to do and what not to. I was tired and frankly no mood t listen to all these things( these are important nevertheless, but I am not built for theory classes..I like to learn things from experience...first hand.) After my "camp wali maggie" i went to bed in my tent....it rained the whole night...

day 2: I woke up early ..and was looking forward my my actual wall climbing.. after a few more stretching seesions and a session on knots...we packed up and moved towards the Temple rocks...the place where we were going to climb...the reason I came tro the camp...last time I climbed the wall I did it in a record 3 mins.. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E5Uv7c-qhBA&feature=player_embedded

But last time I did not enjoy the climb..it was more of a race...I dont like races..I want to enjoy the climb..calm and quite...steady andstrong...I wanted to show all my moves...my reflexes which I had gather over the years fdrom various talented climbers... before climbing gaurav told ...its gonna be a walk in the park..I told him that..the last leg of this route is difficult...but i will make it...I took a long breatha nd started climbing...As planned ( I had already eye climbed several times ) , I went in a slow pace...i used finger pinch,upper cuts, lower cuts, jamming and other such common techniques to climb up the wall. i was enjoying the climb...this is what I want...i think of nothing but the climb...my concentration levels are at peak...halfway up the way...I gt stuck a bit...then I did something which I never did before...something which just came...I used my left hand fingers to pull my whole body up...and place my left foot on the same place where my left hand is...it was very tough but a very rare move... I gained a lot of confidence and smoothly climbed the rest ....when I reached the top I just felt the strong wind gushing ..its a great feeling...words can definitely not explain that...for me its an achivement... I came down rapelling...Forme the camp is done... ..After all the other team mebers climbed or attempted the climb..we all came down.. we had a small theory test..and personal intervieww...after that the successful candidates were handed away the certificate and recommentation for level 2.

After that with mixed feelings we drove back to bangalore...Looking forward to level 2.

Glimpses of Level 1: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6LEaFLAiDaA

balancing Life

This is two shades of a girl's life...the bright side shows her social life,...parties,music,her friends circle...etc...its all colourful from outside.....some friends are for real, some are masked and some are just there........The other side ...the dark one is what others do not see...the box contains her secrets....the creepers are holding her back from something she wants...the stars are there for her to reach some day....I know its not an amazing work of art but this is my imagination...my first abstract art....:-)

Sometimes you have to break the rules to free the heart.

What do you do when your heart wants something so badly?...you try to grab it..but not always you get what you want...I should say there are very few people in this world who have achieved what they wanted...I remember once , one of my very close friend once told me..."If you have not got something you wanted so much..so badly...it means you have not wanted it enough!!!"..I believe this....

some people are never aggressive when it comes to matter of hearts..but sometimes you know that to get into someone's heart you need to break it ... Its so difficult and so painful to hurt some one you love so much... and its against the rules of many.. and yet sometimes it is important... As its is the only way in..only way to peace,happiness and harmony.... Only way to live your dream.....

Sometimes you have to break the rules to free the heart....

My love........

Well people close to me knows that my first love is ROCK CLIMBING...its something I do my best... I do not remember well but it must be my 7th standard when I was introduced to rock climbing...it was some kids' nature study camp in the dry Purulia district of west Bengal.From then onwards there was no looking back.I have climbed in Nepal,Sikkim,parts of Tamil Nadu,West bangal,Bihar,Jharkhand,Uttaranchal and of course Karnataka (some say Ramnagaram is one of the best rock climbing spots in India)..One camp after other...I never missed any chance to climb...Its like I feel so close to these rocks...Who said rocks are lifeless???...they have life more than many human beings..they love me.when I am on the rocks , I turn to a complete different person...my concentration level increases to more than what I normally have ...nothing like feeling the heights and the strong winds gushing through ... whenever I am down with some worries of our worldly lives...it gives me such a boost... such inspiration...words can not explain how it feels..its not getting to the top and wave from there..its the climb..the path..that makes it so wonderful.... This is my domain..my kingdom...no one beats me here....not because i am the best but because here I compete with myself every time....

Introduction

Never thought I will jot down things I feel this way.... but every thing has a start...so here it is..my own blog page..... i hope to update it as much as possible...